why does one paper still stand between me and my freedom? spent half the day lazing around and watching goong.. haha and so now i have to go catch up. lalala!!

FREEDOM!!! here i come!!! yay!!

月亮沉浸在太阳的光辉里，却感觉不到太阳的陪伴。因为当月亮要睡觉的时候，太阳才刚起床。即使有星星的陪伴，黑夜还是漫长的。月亮落寞了，日复一日的等候，它累了。

你不在.

drowned in fluids.. open book still feel like i am titanic, bound for the bottom of the sea.

materials balance was much better, though the parts with P* and whatever shit stumped me. and i thought an A was in the bag. cheyz

one more paper to go!! this entry is merely for the reference of some interested party. haha i don't usually rant about a paper that is over. i merely fret for the last one that lies ahead.

darling i love you!!! hee, just suddenly miss you alot on this rainy day when i have to mug. and since you have lately morphed into a pig, i can't sms you.. but i miss you so much!! muacks!!=p

aiyo.... why must there be exams near december? when everyone is aready in a holiday mood? and it doesn't help that the rain makes me sleepy.. and of course, the worst is that i haven't watched goong, and it is sitting temptingly in my laptop..

two papers tomorrow, kill me please.. i feel like i don't know much!

if someone were to blog 我爱你,不必人懂, wouldn't that be contradictory? is it possible for anybody to love somebody secretly, for a very long time?

i am so glad that this is the last sunday i will be mugging. yay!!

是什么东西渐渐磨蚀了我的热忱？circumstances beyond my control? or did i allow myself to be dragged so far along from what my heart tells me?

想说，爱上了一个人就不要怀疑，义无反顾勇敢地去爱。
但我也只有勇气对别人说，没勇气自己相信并实践。

太多如果万一或许，模糊了我们每个人对爱情的信心。

i am only panicking now, in the 3rd week of my exams. i have absolutely no idea how am i going to study for the next 3 papers. so much needs to be studied, and so little time. yet, i'm blogging more than anyone else. haha..

i wanna scream!

the entry that i love most, is one in chinese. and which nobody knows about. except two. hee=)

it's so nice to stick my hand out, and feel yours.

i think an A for urban is possible only if all the people who left early didn't write much. haha the first paper i had so far, out of 4 that is so open-ended and so tips-less. haha but i have 3 papers to study for over the weekend. die la..

a rainy day today, wouldn't it be nice to wake up to a loving hug?

i love my desktop wallpaper!

wondering if can get A for urban paper later...

我竟然难过得想哭
但睡了一觉之后，发现只不过是胡思乱想, which proves that sleep is a good anti-depressant. haha
bio paper finally down! yay! but urban paper tomorrow, and i'm still dreaming!

touched by evan's sms.. i miss you too girl!

however hard exams are, however tough school life is, i will hereafter never vent on my dad. my long-suffering, under-appreciated dad.. i must be a good daughter!

Barring exams, 我的世界是美好的 =)

on a less important note, i think the computing paper sucked, without the tips, we'd have died horribly.

she said she's now a crybaby. i'm one too.
she knows my innermost feelings. i know her deep dark secrets. and we're both sworn to silence. haha
off to the same destination but for different purposes and duration(thank god!)
ultimately wishing the same thing

i said 5 words twice, never said them before. will not forget i said them anytime soon.

pull me close and hug me tight. i want to bury my head in your shoulder, and inhale deeply your reassuring presence. is this what evan is feeling?=) cheer up my girl, i'm here for you!

computing,bio,urban. all of which requires memorising. and there's no time to pack my brain with knowledge fast! oh no!

摸索当中...

开心，因为在你身边
感动，因为感受到你的真心
眷恋，因为还想依偎你怀里
思念，因为你不在

when i miss you so much now, i just think back to all the happy times we had. the times you held your hand out for mine,the times you held me tight and kissed me. the times we hug together to sleep. the times we walked from dhoby ghaut to orchard, the pasar malam. the times you called me darling. i missed the hongkong trip too.

saw the same sights, breathed the same air, experienced the same things. 一种感动

when i miss you so much now, i just think back to all the unhappy times. the quarrels we had due to my oversensitivity. the times you look so sad when i had to go home. the times when i felt estranged from you in school.

the good and the bad made us what we are now. perhaps i'd have traded in the bad for more good. but then, those bad times made our love stronger.

it feels so right to be yours.

restless, cant sit still long enough to concentrate. wishing once again, to have all my papers over and done fast. when i know i would die if i am not given time to revise. haha and sometimes i feel like i'm studying these for the first time, and not as if i'm revising what i already know.

i can fall asleep almost immediately once i lie down on my bed, with my own familiar smell. haha but i need something else to comfort me,while i study.

where's my knight in shining armour? is it that he's still sleeping, and i have to do a modern-day kiss-to-wake-the-lover kind of thing? lol=p

sometimes i feel old before my time. wondering if i would view love differently if i had held out longer, and not enter a relationship back then. maybe i would still harbour hopes and dreams of one love for one lifetime. maybe i would not sound so skeptical.

but that's only a possibility.. and anyway, i cant go back in time.

petty? yes i think so too myself.. but the same reasons don't apply anymore. and i don't want to find alternative reasons to rationalise.

i miss the girls! and i agree with evan, that we are no longer as innocent as we once were.

i wonder if i could stop feeling a tinge of sorrow in my happiness. pure bliss-without a sneaking suspicion that it'll end soon, has it already eluded me?

i lack spontaneity in my life. pathetic

if i switched off my handphone, and you cant find me. you deserved it.

a stark contrast. http://minghui.livejournal.com

comparative society paper down, 6 more to go. grr. the paper was easy, which means more people have chances of getting A, which means i may not. so depressing.

3 papers next week. in a dreadful mood. one thing at a time, slowly i shall finish everything.

i feel vulnerable.

男主角从家门前转角消失的那一刻，女主角心里只回荡着一句话。早前，他问她，你到底有没有想我的？女主角顿时结舌，原来他一点儿也感受不到她深切的思念，与迫切想要见到他的欲望。

但女主角心里有愧，知道自己心里的想念并未以行动表现出来。或许是太久没见面了，抑或是自己刻意疏远了。总之，她觉得他的拥抱不像以往那样令她感动。虽然说，她身上遗留着他淡淡的肥皂味，但她心里并没有烙印着他的体温。

女主角心里不曾如此不踏实。她觉得自己在男主角眼里一直是个勉强合格的50分，只不过充其数罢了。她却希望成为他心目中的100分，于是她尽心尽力悄悄的付出，希望以一点一滴填满自己的不足。但她心里发出的讯息，他好似接收不到。仿佛即使男主角抱得再紧，似乎还是有某些情意从隙缝里溜了出去。仿佛他怀里的位置不属于她。

男主角从女主角家门前转角消失的那一刻，心里忍不住绞痛。他觉察到在拥抱她的时候，她努力压抑的伤心，让他好心疼。男主角不知不觉的走到街灯下，无意间惊见自己的影子。仿佛在嘲笑他行只独影的寂寞，仿佛凸显女主角不在他身旁的落寞。他霎那间有股冲动，想跑回去拥抱女主角，久久不放开。告诉她，他不想再爱上其他任何她了。

男主角心里不曾如此不踏实。他觉得女主角似乎渐渐离他远了。无论怎么紧紧相拥，十指紧扣，她还是一点点一点点地从指缝里溜走。仿佛她心里的位置不属于他。

深夜的空气承载着许多沉重的情感.而在导演喊CUT!之后,每个人都依然感受到那悠悠的伤感.

喜欢一个男人的执著，爱上了就不后悔，不怀疑。

喜欢一个男人眼里不经意流露出的温柔，让我感觉世上所有幸福只属于我。

喜欢一个男人的眼泪，每一颗都让我心疼。

喜欢一个男人小男孩的表情，感觉在我面前的他好真实。

喜欢一个男人的真心，让我知道我已100%占有他的心。

我的心开始想你了。

oh no! i did a stupid thing and now i'm worried i will become a fraud victim!!! howhowhow!!?!!!???!

sian diao.

what kind of stupid government increases GST to 7%?

i have this urge to rant and rant about anything and everything, but most of all, i just want the freedom to type whatever i want, without having to worry about who and who will read it.

grrr. what's the point of a blog, if things i type can only be saved as drafts? then i get so irritated that i don't even draft.

i want write complain letter to the dean! where got siaokia give assignment that is so tough, and when it's exam time? i don't care if got geniuses or time-management pros can finish the assignment and still get As for exams. i cannot leh, cannot ar?! grr. stupid ntu. stupid prof.

i've been isolated from human contact for 4 days already. no one except my family has seen me. haha

ikea tampines opens 30th november!

the most awkward question to ever be asked, what do you think it will be?

to me, that question has to be: of all the guys you were in a relationship with, who was the most memorable one?

how could i possibly answer that? if you once put in your whole heart into making a relationship work, you would know that every relationship was memorable in its own way. the first kiss, the happy times together, the quarrels, the break up, the tears. no two relationships can ever be the same, so there isn't really a basis for comparison.

and so there is never going to be an answer. unless i'm married, and then i'll tell you. that the most memorable one is the relationship with my husband. cause every day, our memories are still being written together.

there are things you thought you learnt from the last time round. but a similar situation arises, and you realise you haven't actually become smarter or more cautious. you still fall into the same circumstances, you still feel as terrible. and after this time, you tell yourself you'll never b caught in this again. but wasn't that what you told yourself the first time it happened?

there are some people who i would love to have by my side right now. so that i can hug them, talk to them non-stop and just put an end to my missing them.

exams are such a torture, agree? (aye, says the whole world in unison..=p)

i want to enjoy my holidays but also work! how?

there are so many things i would like to shout out loud. like how i'm stressed over the exams, like how i feel fat.

brrrr.. i hate school.

some times, you inadvertently look back and realise you can't really tell for sure how some things came to be like that, when they started. some times you can't even tell how and when it ended.

and so it seems like we are ambling along in life without really paying attention to anything or anyone.

20 days to freedom!

the last day of the semester! thank god everything is finally coming to an end. i hate thursdays, with my two most detested and feared subjects lined up one after another.

tips, tips and tips. really useful not?

i bought a nice pooh plastic calendar mat to put on my table for next year. happy! and ate quite a huge amount of nice food these few days. so well, i must say i'm quite ready to give my best for exams!

lalalala=) nitez ppl!

oh god, mathematica and c programming AGAIN. vulgar words are not enough. and spewing vulgarities will only make my blood pressure shoot through the roof.

i'll be so glad (understatement,obviously!) when i don't have to take this course anymore.=)

one more test to go.. yay!

nothing else to blog le.. haha bye!

boring day. absolutely nothing happened.

and my dad told me to feel free to go out this sat and sun, cause he's not going to be at home. but the timing clashes with exams that are round the corner. grr

million dollar question: will the photo on the right make it to the photo on the left?

执子之手，与子皆老.. (i'm not too sure whether i wrote the saying correctly) but isn't this what we all hope for? it's captured here in my parents walking down the walkway of the temple. 21 years of marriage this 21st of november. it hasn't been easy, just have to witness their shouting matches in the morning, or difference of opinions at the dinner table, and you'll know. but they know they will always be there for each other, and be each other's support in times of need.

people might look for romance that sweeps us off our feet. but without trust, honesty, a strong foundation and understanding, the romance will only be short-lived. love that is strong will not be eroded by time, or any change in circumstances.

love means never having to say a thing, you will just know.

bought a top and skirt! but i didn't manage to get the dress i wanted! but at least, i've finally broken my streak of not being able to buy anything when out window shopping! =)

after this semester, it seems there will be less people in school. evan and mindan are going to study overseas next semester. which leaves only joyce, me, qiuling 3 ahscds girls in school. sad.

weeinn's birthday tomorrow! and i have no lessons tomorrow. haha yay! but two tests. oh btw, i think yesterday's test was a goner. but oh well. no regrets.

abit random in my entry today, but it's a sunday!

假装若无其事

isolation

my dad stepped into my room, reminding me to eat fruits. and then he said, 28 years ago, his dad passed away. 13/09 on the chinese calendar. a young man of 23 rushed home to see his father one last time, and his final memory of his dad was him drawing his final breath when he saw all his children had reached home.

i don't know what to say to my dad, a man i respect so much for all that he has gone through, and for all that he has done. i can only wish him a long life so that i may somehow make it up to him, give him the comfort he never used to have.

and so i told him, 老爸，你要等到我给你生孙子你才能死 hor?

when what i hoped was that i would never lose him.

mindlessly reading, not absorbing. grr.

beginning the slow descent to hell. 12 more days.

dont recall taking any photos in school during lesson time, or even breaks. maybe cause i know i won't be able to smile.

haha just the pre-exam stressful blues!

不想人前一个人，人后另一个人. 听见了吗？听懂吗？

leaving the school compound felt like such a sweet release. and it's less than 2 weeks to exams. how can it possibly be? i feel like i've not studied enough, cause there are still so much i don't know!

多想化成隐性的人，隐藏我伤痕

i repeat. i hate mathematica, and fluids. and i'm much better slacking at home than wasting my time on these two subjects that doesn't interest me, nor enrich me.

if every rainy day there can be a warm hug, life would be good. rainy days and warm hugs- what a wonderful combination!=)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!! haha happy that his friends managed to surprise him, so that he'll have to remember this birthday by, not just fever and a migraine=)=)=)

the week feels too long already.

can i concede defeat without even stepping into the battlefield? but that will be letting myself down..=